So many of our relationship woes, or worse still, our failed relationships, come down to perspective! The fact that we all have one for any given circumstance or situation and we all thinks ours is right and that there cannot possibly be another. We know what should happen!
A successful relationship, over any length of time requires us to understand and meet our partners needs. Not what we think they need but, what they actually do need.
What they tell us they need, when we actually take the time and trouble to ask them so that we can be what they need us to be and vice versa.
I recently asked a disillusioned group to articulate their partners needs and none of them could. It was also clear that they had never talked to their partner about theirs either.
“Surely he should know” is a common response.
Well, why? you have just demonstrated that you do not know his, why should he know yours?
As human beings we are all totally unique and individual. We are each a product of our experiences and our environment which in turn gives us a unique map or our surroundings, the behaviours we expect and our perspective on how things should be.
The only possible way to make someone happy in a relationship is to understand their needs and their perspective. No two people are the same, your current partner will have different thoughts and behaviours to your last and everything they do, think or say will have a reason.
True happiness comes from knowing and meeting these needs.
A sustainable relationship requires two people to be in it to give, rather than to take and the giving has to be based on what you both really need not, what you think or assume each other needs.
As human beings we are all uniques and individual