Remember this Always!
Only someone who is unhappy within themselves will abuse you.
Someone’s need to control, diminish and keep you small, to take away your power and sense of self can only come from their fear of you!
From their own sense of insecurity and lack of self confidence.
Those who truly believe in themselves build others up!
they have no need to bring anyone else down.
The need to make you seem less than you are, to erase your identity only comes from a place of fear and a sense of lack.
Not a sense of your lack but their own.
They actually fear that you will eclipse them
In reality they know that they can never be what you are.
So, they need to reduce you!
You dont see your own value and worth so you take on board what they say and gradually you become less, which is exactly what they wanted and needed!
Yes! they actually NEEDED to reduce you.
Unable to grow and elevate themselves they chose to undermine you instead as if your demise was their elevation.
There are NEVER ANY valid excuses!
Sure they will always have plenty but, hear them and see them for what they are.
Analyse what they are saying from the following understanding:
No matter what the outside circumstances or situation, we are each, always responsible for ourselves, our responses and reactions, both in everything we do and everything we say.
Yes! we have to hold ourselves accountable for our own behaviour!
Recognise an excuse as an excuse and bad behaviour as just that.
Remember this next time you are told it was your fault or you MADE someone do or say something.
When your abuser is shouting, swearing, calling you names remember the fear that is driving it and use that knowledge to gather your strength and to see them as the broken person they really are.
Remember above all that this can never, ever be true!
No matter what you. or even someone else did or said, they are responsible for how they responded.
Knowing this with every part of you will be a great gift that will serve you well. Allowing you to see someone as they really are.
Allowing you to release the blame, guilt and shame that is placed unfairly on your shoulders so you can stand tall again and,
Step off the rollercoaster, the cycle of abuse and excuses. They cannot continue to make them if you cease to accept them.