The freedom of just believing in yourself!
I don’t actually like the term dysfunction, I think it implies a deeper meaning, something difficult to solve like a dysfunctional family! And the fact is that unless it has a diagnosed medical cause then your problem is not as serious as dysfunction so, don’t use that word about yourself! Why?
Because your mind works in 4 keys ways and one of them is that it reacts to the words and images that you feed it! So, don’t feed it one of dysfunction.
Every thought leads to an action, every thought creates and causes a reaction. The reaction depends on the thought. What do you think about yourself?
What you are experiencing now is just a symptom of a wider problem, not a bigger problem but a wider one and that is of your general lack of self- esteem, self- belief and self- confidence.
You see you are reacting to words that have been said about you, possibly but not necessarily in the bedroom recently but, for someone to be able to affect you with words that are non- complimentary you would need to have an underlying unease and anxiety anyway. If you are sure of yourself you can reject the hurtful words of others as they are irrelevant to you. You KNOW who you are and the opinion of others does not matter to you.
It is very difficult for someone to undermine you and dent your self- confidence if you are rock solid in who you are! If you know with absolute certainty that you will always be right for the right person and that you are enough in any and every situation.
If you don’t have that then it is very easy for someone else or an incident to knock you off track.
I understand totally that for men you ability to “perform” is a huge issue, you are under pressure, you literally have to make it happen for both parties. So, how are you going to do that consistently when you already have an underlying self esteem and self confidence issue?
Can you see how easy it would be to be affected? When you are already thinking that you might not be good enough? You might not even think it, consciously around sex but, if it is your underlying feeling about yourself then it will show up in vulnerable areas of your life.
These feelings are not your fault, your thought patterns and processes about who you are were formed before you were 10 years old. Daily repetition of what you were taught (or not taught) what you experienced, how you saw life and your role in it created how you feel about yourself today.
Unless you have already done some personal work to give you more self confidence, self esteem and to deal with any anxiety you might have around that? Then your mind is running on old programming and it is affecting you as it is today. You were taught that you are not good enough at a very young age!
Your anxiety and lack of self belief simply becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and the more you focus on it in a negative way the worse it gets.
You start to constantly think and to dwell on things like:
There is something really wrong with me
I am always going to be alone
No one will want me like this
I am a failure
I cant do anything right.
What did I tell you about the words and images you feed your mind?
You have to stop the cycle
Uncover and explore the root cause of why you feel about yourself as you do
Then change your perception of yourself, so you see yourself as a powerhouse, a hero!
Someone who is enough for anyone, can deal with anything, who totally believes in himself
(tip, women want and love strong ,confident men!)
When you do that your problem will definitely disappear!
The key to your ongoing success, in all areas of your life is to remove any damaging and negative thoughts about who you are and what you can do and just see everything in your life soar to new heights, not just your love life!
I hope this helps you get a clearer perspective. Contact me if you are curious about how I can help you over this and fast. Rapidly instill the self confidence and self belief that you need to succeed in everything!