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How I help my clients to overcome guilt and shame

There are 6 key steps

I find that these key steps work whenever there is guilt present in an adult but it is
especially useful when dealing with those who had narcissistic parents and were made to
feel guilty all the time or,
those who were sexually or physically abused and made to feel that it was their fault, that
they deserved it or, that they somehow made it happen or, should have stopped it.

  1. I help them realise that the guilt they are feeling was very likely created in their
    childhood, when they were very vulnerable, helpless and powerless.
    they probably accepted the guilt because they were manipulated by an adult who should
    have known better.
    Invariably when a child is carrying a burden of guilt it has been placed there by an adult who
    had some kind of power and authority and who should be carrying the guilt instead.
  2. We identify the situations and circumstances where the guilt was created, all of the
    parties involved and the roles that they played so, we establish in the
    logical conscious mind
    That they are not the guilty party.
  3. Work on instilling the understanding that a child can never be guilty or responsible for
    what an adult does or say, their actions or reactions.
    Adults are entirely responsible for everything they do and say and cannot blame or hold
    responsible a child.
  4. We work with the subconscious to uncover the root causes and the main belief behind
    the guilt. What exactly did the child experience and what does the subconscious believe?
    We uncover this by asking very specific questions, to which the subconscious responds,
    showing us exactly what we need to know and see.
  5. Once we fully understand them we can then examine the impact of these on the adult
    life. What are the thoughts and behaviour patterns that the guilt is creating and responsible
    for?
  6. We take all of this information and work with the subconscious in a very specific way to
    rewire and reprogram the thoughts beliefs and behaviours all with the intention of releasing
    the guilt which has usually been released by this stage.

It actually often releases in the first stage and the others are integration processes to instil and reinforce new beliefs and behaviours.


The easiest way to understand this process is to give you an example, one which is very common of the type of work that I do and the scenarios that I come across. I recently worked with a young woman who was feeling very depressed and anxious. She was very withdrawn and uncertain and I could tell that physically and emotionally she was presenting as if she was carrying a huge burden.

She just seemed so weighed down by something very heavy and clearly was struggling to
feel any joy or happiness. So, she came to me because she had depression and felt unhappy, which was understandable BUT, it was not her real issue.
As we started the subconscious work, which is done through very specific deep relaxation
and meditation techniques we were quickly able to establish that what she was feeling was
guilt! She saw herself as a small, powerless and vulnerable child and could clearly see how she
had been manipulated, by her abuser, into thinking that she was guilty, with regards to being sexually abused.


She experienced all of the shame she felt as she reviewed what had happened to her.
Only this time was different. Now she was reviewing it as the adult that she is and not the child she was but the adult has a different perspective, more knowledge, information, resources, freedom and
a voice!
From the new perspective of the adult she is she was able to clearly see the belief she had adopted and TO REJECT IT! You see unlike the child, the adult has power, perception and intuition. The incredible thing is that when we do this work in the subconscious, the subconscious mind very easily accepts the new ideas and beliefs.
It is very normal for a client to release all of their guilt and shame in the first session or at
least the first couple. It is a very clever and unique way of working with the subconscious to get it to release a belief that is limiting and non serving and to adopt one instead that is totally empowering
and supportive.
I find that once a client has released guilt and shame in this way they immediately look different, in their body, in their face and they certainly have a different demeanour and energy. That is basically how I help my clients uncover, understand and then release guilt and
shame.

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