Realisation 1: You are Enough

“ You are enough, you always have been and always will be”

Please read and complete the exercises in preparation for our next session.

In this section I want you to start to get a sense of your own ENOUGHNESS! Of your absolute LOVEABILITY, your value and your worth.

When you become certain of those things you show up in the world with a completely different energy, with an air of certainty and self-confidence to when you doubt yourself.

In short, in a way that says, without words, don’t mess with me! I know who I am, I know what I deserve, my boundaries are high and my values are too. If that is not ok with you, if you cannot respect that then that is fine with me! I don’t compromise on who I am because I don’t need to so, if you cannot accept me, just as I am, then move on please.

I call it moving from a platform of fear to one of love., love of yourself, love of others, love of life and a certainty of your own acceptability all set on a rock solid foundation that is unshakeable!

We show up in the world in two ways:

  • In Fear or,
  • In Love

 

It is your foundation of fear, your own uncertainty in your own enoughness and acceptability that has lead you into the negative situations and experiences that you have experienced.

When you shift to a platform, a foundation of love and you start to operate from there

EVERYTHING CHANGES!

This is a huge topic so,

Lets start with a quote from the wonderful Brene Brown.

‘'It is time to heal is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.’'

Brene Brown

Carefully read the quote above, which is a suggestions to yourself
of who you really are!
Now lets dive in! exploring the concept of

You are Enough!

Because you are, you always have been and you always will be!

You have just lost sight of that or, for some of you, you cannot remember ever knowing it.


I know that some of you, you will read this and tell yourself that you know this!
Of course you are enough, Of course you know that you are!
Of course you love yourself!
But, the problem is, they are just words.
Words that are in your head but disconnected from your heart.

You tell yourself that you know you are enough and that you love yourself because you recognise it as something that you should believe about yourself!

But, if that was true, we would not be here because is you loved yourself and knew that you were enough, you would not speak to yourself as you do! You would not allow others to treat you as you do.

You would not be your own greatest critic instead of your won greatest fan!

The reality for most of us is that we have a voice in our heads, a constant chatter that tells us the opposite, that we are not good enough.


But, where did that come from? This idea that you are not good enough? The one that has lead you into abusive relationships, accepting so much less than you deserve?

You were definitely not born that way!
(Unless you suffered womb trauma, which is a very real thing)
You were born knowing that  YOU ARE ENOUGH! expecting to be:

Accepted, Loved, Cherished and Nurtured.

So, what happened to take away that certainty?
That self -belief?

The problem is that, for most of us, the doubt was placed there by our parents because, aside from any abuse that may have occurred, even if you were raised in a loving family, since you were born and even before, even in the womb, you have been subjected to a set of rules, requirements and anticipations that belong to your family.

Without even realising it, it is your inability to simply accept these rules both within society and within your family that have lead you to question your ENOUGHNESS and LOVABILITY, your VALUE and WORTH

Because you belong to that family and that is your environment, those rules, which are usually generational have been applied to your life, whether they suited you as an individual or not.

They are generic rules and much of the time, even those living by them are unaware of their existence and the fact that they require conformity and they do not allow for the expression of uniqueness or individuality.

They are the rules of expectation and anticipation about who you will be, what is acceptable, how you should behave and what you MUST do to be accepted.

The problem is that because we are all unique and individual most of us find ourselves confused by the rules! Wanting to do or be or have something else!

When we find ourselves questioning the guidelines that everyone else appears happy to abide by, we don’t question the expectation or the requirement, we just blame ourselves!

We think that there must be something wrong with us because we cannot just happily squeeze ourselves into the tiny box or walk the narrow path that everyone else seems happy to accept.

Let me give you some examples and then take the time to think about and make a note of all the rules that you can see you have been subject to but, do not empower your uniqueness!

Some of these rules focus on academic ability and expectations and they set you up for “Failure” if you happen not to be academic!


  1. The expectation that if you are working hard at school you will get all A’s, maybe a B or 2 but a C???? Now that it totally unacceptable, it means you are not applying yourself, not focusing.It may not mean that at all, maybe you are just naturally not good at Maths or science, maybe your forte is writing? Or, you are a musician or an artist, an athlete?
  2. The anticipation that you will get married and have children? Suppose you want to stay single, travel the world and concentrate on your career?
  3. The concept that you should not express your emotions, should not question an adult, should not have your own opinions.
  4. The idea that conflict is bad so, you must agree with others just to keep the peace.

    There will be beliefs about all sorts of things, relationships, money, health, what you deserve, what is available to you

Exercise: My Beliefs

Use this worksheet or your personal journal to record what you notice from your own environment, either your current one or your childhood one that is creating the beliefs that you have, the patterns and systems that are running your life.
 
It is highly likely that the patterns you are running in your adult life are simply confirmations of the ones you picked up in your childhood.
 
Taking into account that an environment does not have to be abusive to affect your sense of self and your self esteem plus, these experiences do not just occur in the home but from other sources too which are hugely influential, our other relatives, school, church, clubs and other institutions.
 
Draw on information from the video. Trauma the full facts, in the introduction. What did you learn from it that you can draw on and combine here to give you clarity on the beliefs and ideas that you have, where they came from and whether they support and serve you or not.
 
Make a note of how those beliefs are impacting your life in either positive or negative way.

To help you I have done this exercise myself  please read this post – “My Personal Limiting Beliefs”, that outlines my own experience. 

Positive Change...

Review the beliefs that you uncovered, and rewrite them with a positive focus!
 
These are the aspects of yourself where you see the potential for the biggest change.
This is what you will focus on when it comes to rewiring and reprogramming.
 
Celebrate yourself!
 
Write positive notes to yourself! It does not matter what size,
From post it notes to A4, A1 and your mirror!
 
Put notes by your kettle, your computer, anywhere obvious that you will see them.
 
Notes to yourself reminding yourself of just how amazing you are.

Checklist

  • Make the first list of the limiting belief that you know you have

  • Revise that list with a focus on the positive alternative

  • Write notes to celebrate yourself

  • Use the Resources section

Week 2 - Live Group Session

Week 2 - Hypnotherapy Audio "You are Enough"

Click the headphones to listen to this weeks Hypnotherapy Audio

This weeks Blog -
"Am I being Heard"