In this section I want you to start to get a sense of your own ENOUGHNESS! Of your absolute LOVEABILITY, your value and your worth.
When you become certain of those things you show up in the world with a completely different energy, with an air of certainty and self-confidence to when you doubt yourself.
In short, in a way that says, without words, don’t mess with me! I know who I am, I know what I deserve, my boundaries are high and my values are too. If that is not ok with you, if you cannot respect that then that is fine with me! I don’t compromise on who I am because I don’t need to so, if you cannot accept me, just as I am, then move on please.
I call it moving from a platform of fear to one of love., love of yourself, love of others, love of life and a certainty of your own acceptability all set on a rock solid foundation that is unshakeable!
We show up in the world in two ways:
It is your foundation of fear, your own uncertainty in your own enoughness and acceptability that has lead you into the negative situations and experiences that you have experienced.
When you shift to a platform, a foundation of love and you start to operate from there
This is a huge topic so,
Lets start with a quote from the wonderful Brene Brown.
Because you are, you always have been and you always will be!
You have just lost sight of that or, for some of you, you cannot remember ever knowing it.
I know that some of you, you will read this and tell yourself that you know this!
Of course you are enough, Of course you know that you are!
Of course you love yourself!
But, the problem is, they are just words.
Words that are in your head but disconnected from your heart.
You tell yourself that you know you are enough and that you love yourself because you recognise it as something that you should believe about yourself!
But, if that was true, we would not be here because is you loved yourself and knew that you were enough, you would not speak to yourself as you do! You would not allow others to treat you as you do.
You would not be your own greatest critic instead of your won greatest fan!
The reality for most of us is that we have a voice in our heads, a constant chatter that tells us the opposite, that we are not good enough.
But, where did that come from? This idea that you are not good enough? The one that has lead you into abusive relationships, accepting so much less than you deserve?
You were definitely not born that way!
(Unless you suffered womb trauma, which is a very real thing)
You were born knowing that YOU ARE ENOUGH! expecting to be:
Accepted, Loved, Cherished and Nurtured.
So, what happened to take away that certainty?
That self -belief?
The problem is that, for most of us, the doubt was placed there by our parents because, aside from any abuse that may have occurred, even if you were raised in a loving family, since you were born and even before, even in the womb, you have been subjected to a set of rules, requirements and anticipations that belong to your family.
Without even realising it, it is your inability to simply accept these rules both within society and within your family that have lead you to question your ENOUGHNESS and LOVABILITY, your VALUE and WORTH
Because you belong to that family and that is your environment, those rules, which are usually generational have been applied to your life, whether they suited you as an individual or not.
They are generic rules and much of the time, even those living by them are unaware of their existence and the fact that they require conformity and they do not allow for the expression of uniqueness or individuality.
They are the rules of expectation and anticipation about who you will be, what is acceptable, how you should behave and what you MUST do to be accepted.
The problem is that because we are all unique and individual most of us find ourselves confused by the rules! Wanting to do or be or have something else!
When we find ourselves questioning the guidelines that everyone else appears happy to abide by, we don’t question the expectation or the requirement, we just blame ourselves!
We think that there must be something wrong with us because we cannot just happily squeeze ourselves into the tiny box or walk the narrow path that everyone else seems happy to accept.
Let me give you some examples and then take the time to think about and make a note of all the rules that you can see you have been subject to but, do not empower your uniqueness!
Some of these rules focus on academic ability and expectations and they set you up for “Failure” if you happen not to be academic!
To help you I have done this exercise myself please read this post – “My Personal Limiting Beliefs”, that outlines my own experience.