Realisation 5: You have clutter to clear,
So you can Receive
It doesn’t matter how we dress it up,
or what labels we give it, the only way to heal from narcissistic abuse, in fact from any abuse is to change our thoughts!
All healing has to start here.
We know that abuse causes us to think
in a certain way about ourselves, life, other people and the world in general.
Basically it distorts the lens through which we see life and impedes our ability to see our own value and worth.
It is these old beliefs, patterns, thoughts, emotions and behaviours that are the internal clutter that we need to clear. Then there is the external clutter all around us, all the things that we hold onto, usually because they represent some kind of safety or security or are connected to people and events.
There is nothing wrong with holding onto things that are important to us when they remind us of great times or people we have loved, until they become a support mechanism that we feel we cannot function without or simply cannot let go of.
We feel like this when...
- What do I believe
- What am I telling myself
- What seems hard to shift
- How am I showing up
- Who/what am I holding onto
we think that we ourselves are not enough and that we NEED that object/habit/person just to be able to get through.
this is all a reflection of your opinion of your value and worth and affects what you are open to receiving!
We will be coming onto that but first, you need to create space, release and be open to receiving more.
No one is exempt from this and it is an ongoing process so, if you have done it before or even done it recently, you are a different person now in a different space with a new perspective and a new set of goals, new vision for your life so, no matter when you last did it, believe me, you have clutter to clear.
I have come to realise that this is a constant process and as I shift and change, I am constantly reviewing what and who I have around me along with what is going on internally!
Why?
I try to pay attention to all of my own thoughts and behaviours that just do not serve me because in recognising them, I can work on improving and removing them.
All of this is a work in progress for me and an absolute privilege to be able to share this process and my own journey with you and in turn, help you with yours.
We all only have a certain capacity for storage both on our homes and within ourselves.
Whatever we carry with us, takes up space!
To let something new in, we have to let something go.
I do this best when I think of myself as my wardrobe, which I regularly clear out.
It gets to the point where I look at it and everything is crammed in, nothing looks appealing, I cannot store things as I would like because there is just too much and it is just overwhelming and chaotic.
SO THEN I STICK TO A FEW FAVOURITE PIECES! I GET COMFORTABLE!
Then when I can’t stand it any longer, I have a ruthless clear out.
I get out everything!
Yes, everything because then I have to handle each piece and decide yes or no and justify my decision to myself.
By the time I am finished I usual have at least one huge bag for good will and my clothes, and I, have space to breathe again.
You can use whatever metaphor works for you...
but, for me, I think of myself and my life like my wardrobe.
If it no longer serves me, I remove it!
- Thoughts
- Beliefs
- Behaviours
- People
- Things
Every time I remove something or someone, once they are no longer there I realise how much space they were actually taking up.
What an energy drain that was. What a distraction
Have a vision for every stage and every area of your life and if what is around you does not fit the vision, take a serious look at it and decide what to do with/about it to revisit
A few weeks ago you did a very thorough exercise where you completed a vision of your ideal life, which we are now going to revisit. If you didn’t do that exercise, well this is your chance and you can do it from the perspective of what we are now doing here, in this updated exercise.
When I got back to Australia after 18 months away I was faced with some shocking realisations and did some massive clearing out both internally and externally and I will share more about that in our call.
REVIEW YOUR VISION
Go back to that vision that you created for yourself and review it.
Even a few weeks on you will probably notice that you were limiting yourself and that what you want for yourself has changed again so, make a note of your new and increased desires for yourself.
What is it that you have realised, experienced, seen, heard or discovered that has further enhanced what you desire?
Take notice of how you feel about yourself when you think about what you both deserve and desire
Look at the things/people that you identified as needing to remove from your life.
- How do you feel now when you look at them
- What steps ( if any) have you taken to make your vision your reality?
- What is stopping you from taking action
- What is coming up for you now as something/someone that needs to be removed from your life
- What has lead to you understanding this?
The purpose of this deep dive into clutter clearing is to prepare you for our live lesson and Q & A because we will be looking at
- HEALING YOUR RECEIVING WOUNDS
- INCREASING YOUR CAPACITY TO RECEIVE & TO GIVE IN RETURN
Checklist
Review Your Ideal Life Vision
Clear some clutter
Reflect of your capacity to receive
Use the template opposite or a piece of paper to jot down your notes.
