My Personal Limiting Beliefs
To help you with the limiting beliefs exercise, I have explored mine to share with you.
Remember, we will talk about this a lot more and answer all of your questions in our live session.
Our beliefs get created in different ways at various times of our lives.
We must also pay attention to the limiting beliefs of those around us, especially in our intimate relationships, because those definitely have a big impact on our own outcomes.
I am actually having a chapter of my book extracted for you to access, as the first chapter is an in depth look at limiting beliefs, how they are formed and their impact.
My generational family background, on one side at least, is an upper class one. On my fathers side they were, lower upper class aristocracy, exiled from Russia in the revolution.
The very interesting thing is that as they were then plunged into poverty, the next 4 generations were very poor, with an inability to make or keep money. Of working hard for very little return, which was my childhood experience.
There was also all the chaos, confusion and shame of illegitimacy and illicit relationships which through my very deep personal work, I can now see set the tone for what followed post exile, all related to the shame and fear of it.
As I became aware of this pattern, I observed but did not understand it.
It was an ayahuasca journey that lead me to uncover the generational belief
“It is not safe to have money”
Everything made so much sense to me as I was then able to understand and overcome it and doing so made such a difference to how I could then focus on creating success and money and being comfortable with that, rather than afraid.
From Early Childhood
Growing up poor, I was bullied at school and it was that bullying, along with what I now recognise as generational trauma, of being persecuted, outsiders and not good enough that lead to the following beliefs and my own CPTSD.
Being poor is a bad thing, it means that you are less than, not good enough, a person to be excluded and left out
To try to fit in I need to be what everyone else wants.
People will like me and let me spend time with them, if I do what they want.
Being poor excludes me, I cannot do what I want with my life
Even God despises me and God loves everyone
I am no good and do not deserve the things that other people have.
If I am ever alone it is because no one likes me
A promise once made cannot be broken
As I Got Older
I cannot rely on a man, I must be able to make my own money and look after myself.
I always do and say the wrong thing
I am a fraud and I will be found out
I must be what other people want so they will like me
I have such a lot to prove and so much to make up for
I must not upset anyone! If I do, I am a bad person
I must make sure my partner is happy
If a man is really interested, really fast, that is confirmation that I am loveable!
(we all know what this really is! typical narc love bombing set up)
In My Marriage
Love is wanting the other person to be happy
I must help provide financially, one person cannot do it all
We will do things as a team and help each other.
My past is my shame, I must hide it and not get found out.
I must be emotionally unavailable to protect my freedom
What men say is not to be trusted
A man will try to destroy whatever I create so, there is no point even trying
(This was uncovered due to constant self sabotage that was holding me back in all key areas of my life)
I cannot learn from men as they only criticise, confuse and diminish
It is not emotionally safe to be alone with a man
there is no point creating anything, it will only be taken away.
So, you can see, what a toxic cocktail this is and, it was running my adult life, no wonder it was such a mess!
The two in red are the only ones that I still hold onto.
I can afford to believe these things now because I now know so much more.
Before they were just blanket beliefs without any real understanding or boundaries to protect myself
I am no longer blindly following rules that I don’t understand or even know exist.
All of the others I have worked through and totally turned around and believe the total opposite now.
I hope this helps you to identify some of the rules and beliefs that are running your life.
Where and how they were created and most importantly how to overcome them and make another choice, now that you can clearly see what is in your way.
As we move into rules of the mind you will see how this and your limiting beliefs are linked as so many of your beliefs are created by the subconscious in response to what you experience, to keep you safe!
They may keep you safe in some ways but, in others they limit you which is why it is so important to understand these concepts and the road map for turning them around which is basically.
1. Uncover, identify and understand
2. Recognise its roots and where it belongs3. Challenge it’s validity
4 .Look at the consequences of holding onto this belief
5. Adopt the one you want instead
6. Put it into practise
Get the help you need to uncover the hidden ones and everything that surrounds them.
Uncovering and reprogramming these hidden beliefs is literally life changing because they hold you back in all the key areas of your life.
It is your limiting beliefs that create your glass ceiling and cause you to self sabotage when you start to achieve anything beyond what your beliefs tell you is safe!